i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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