Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
