If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
