It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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