Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
