New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Small penises have feelings too.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize