youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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