Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
