Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is wine microwaveable?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize