Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
