Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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