Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
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I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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