My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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