Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
