can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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