Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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