i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
