69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
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