I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
