Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
