the day after is always just damage control
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
