My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
