Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We don't watch enough power rangers
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
