Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
