I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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