Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize