i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
