If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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