I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
