Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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