6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
