im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
