dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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