let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
