I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
