Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We don't watch enough power rangers
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So vagazzling was a success
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
