don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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