last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
