I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
