even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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