Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
