First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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