Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
