Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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