if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
