I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
