Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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