I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
