Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i dont even know how to be here
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
