Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
