rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm always down for nudity.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
