She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
