The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
