if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think your dad took our porno
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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