ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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