At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize