I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
