I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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