I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
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She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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