Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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